Why do men become smarter during sex?
 Because they are plugged into a genius.
Why don't women blink during foreplay? They don't have time.
 

 
A scientist had a frog. He decided to study the little guy. So he says "Jump frog, Jump" and the frog jumped 8 feet. So he noted in his journal that a frog with 4 legs jumps 8 feet. Then he cut off one leg and said "Jump Frog, Jump". The frog then jumped 6 feet and he made the req'd notation. After cutting off the 2nd leg and saying "Jump Frog, Jump", the frog only jumped 4 feet and the scientist so noted. He then cut off the third leg and told the frog to jump. He jumped 2 feet.and the scientist noted in his book that a frog with only one leg jumps 2 feet. Finally, he cut off the last leg and said "Jump Frog, Jump" but alas the frog jumped nowhere. The scientist opened his book and noted " aftercutting off all legs, the frog becomes totally deaf".

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The fifty-year old son was complaining to his 75 year old father: "Dad, lately I've been having a problem with impotence. Tell me, do you have the same problem? Is it something that runs in our family?" "Well," his father replied, "I don't know about your mother's side of the family, but I've never had reason to complain. Why, when I was a lad, I would work up a good hard-on, hang a bucket of water from it, and walk the full length of a football field. But nowadays my knees give in when I'm half way."
While making her rounds, the Head Nurse noticed a young female patient missing. Pressing the intercom, she said "Lori, where's the patient in 340?" "Oh!" came the reply. "Well... she was complaining of severe chills, so I put her in bed with Mr. Johnson in 328 who was running that high fever."
. Several years ago, the Catholic Church required women to wear a head covering in order to enter the sanctuary. One Sunday a lady arrived without her head covering. The priest tells her that she cannot enter without it. A few moments later, the lady re-appears wearing her blouse tied to her head. The shocked priest says, "Madam, I cannot allow you to enter this holy place without your wearing a blouse." "But Father, I have a divine right," she says. "Yes, I see," he says. And your left one isn't bad either, but you still must wear a blouse to enter this church!"
A man had fallen between the rails in a subway station. People were all crowding around trying to get him out before the train ran him over. They were all shouting. "Give me your hand!" but the man would not reach up. Mulla Nasrudin elbowed his way through the crowd and leaned over the man. "Friend," he asked, "what is your profession?" "I am an income tax inspector," gasped the man. "In that case," said Nasrudin, "take my hand!" The man immediately grasped the Mulla's hand and was hauled to safety. Nasrudin turned to the amazed by-standers and declared, "Never ask a tax man to *give* you anything, you fools!"

 

Gone to sleep

Two old women were sitting on a bench waiting for their bus. The buses were running late, and a lot of time passed. Finally, one woman turned to the other and said, "You know, I've been sitting here so long, my butt fell asleep!'. The other woman turned to her and said "I know! I heard it snoring!"

Senior citizen

As a senior citizen was driving down the freeway, his car phone rang. Answering, he heard his wife's voice urgently warning him, "Lee, I just heard on the news that there's a car going the wrong way on i75. Please be careful!" "Hell," said Lee, "it's not just one car... It's hundreds of them!"